How Gloomius Maximus Stole Jingle Jangle Day
by VioletRose13
Summary: One-shot. A classic Holiday story... in the style of Rolie Polie Olie.


Every bot in Polieville like Jingle Jangle Day a lot  
But Gloomius Maximus in his ship above Polieville did not

Gloomius hated Jingle Jangle Day, the whole jingle jangle season  
Now please don't ask me why, nobody quite knows the reason  
Perhaps his metal parts weren't screwed on just right  
Perhaps a few of his gears were wound up too tight  
But I think that the most likely reason that would show,  
May have been that his happy gear was a little too slow

But whatever the reason, his gears or the weather,  
He stood there at the helm, feeling no pleasure  
Staring down from his ship with a sour, gloomy frown  
At the warm lighted windows below in the town

For he knew that every bot down in Polieville beneath  
Was busy now hanging a Jolly Polie wreath  
"And they're hanging their stockings," He snarled with a sneer  
"Tomorrow's Jingle Jangle Day. It's practically here!"

Then he growled with his hook for a hand nervously drumming  
"I must find some way to stop Jingle Jangle from coming."

For tomorrow he knew, all the Polieville girls and boys  
Would wake bright and early and rush for their toys  
And then, oh the noise, the noise! The noise, noise, noise!  
That's one thing he hated! The noise! Noise, noise, noise!

Then the bots young and old would sit down to a feast  
And they'll feast, and they'll feast, and they'll feast, feast, feast, feast!  
They would feast on Polie pudding and rare roast beast  
Which was something Gloomius couldn't stand in the least 

And then they'd do something he liked least of all  
Every bot in Polieville, the tall and the small  
Would stand close together with clanking bells ringing  
They'd stand hand in hand and the bots would start singing

They'd sing! And they'd sing!  
And they'd sing! Sing! Sing! Sing!

And the more Gloomius thought of what Jingle Jangle would bring  
The more Gloomius thought, "I must stop this whole thing!  
Why for many, _many_ years I've put up with it now!  
I must stop this Jingle Jangle from coming… but how?"

Then he got an idea, a gloomy idea  
Gloomius got a wonderful, gloomy idea!

"I know just what to do!" Gloomius laughed in his throat  
And he made a quick Klanky Klaus hate and a coat  
Then he chuckled and chortled, "I'll have such a glum kick!  
With this coat and this hat, this will just be the trick!"

"All I need is a rocket reindeer…" Gloomius looked around  
But rocket reindeer were scarce, so there was none to be found  
Did that stop ol' Gloomius? No! Gloomius simply said,  
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll _build_ one instead!"

So he grabbed an old toolbox, and quickly went to work  
Once it was all done, it was perfect, not one single quirk  
Then he built a sleigh and grabbed some old empty sacks  
He hitched up his new rocket and quickly made tracks  
And with a quick, loud zoom, the sleigh started down  
Toward the homes where the bots lay asnooze in their town

All the windows were dark, quiet snow filled the air  
All the bots were all dreaming sweet dreams without care  
When he came to the first little house sitting right there

"This is stop number one!" The old Gloomy Klaus hissed  
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist  
He'd slide down the slim spout, a rather tight pinch  
But Klanky can do it, so it should be a cinch

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two  
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue  
Where the little bots' stockings all hung in a row  
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go."

Then he grinned evilly, it was a sight most unpleasant.  
And he stalked about the room, taking every present!  
Action figures! Rocket ponies! Roller skates! Trains!  
Checkerboards! Bowling balls! New tools! Toy planes!

And he stuffed them in bags and then, without a doubt,  
Stuffed them all, one by one, straight up the spout.

Then he slunk to the kitchen. He took the bots' feast.  
He took the baked goods, he took the roast beast.  
He cleaned out their fridge as quick as a flash.  
Why, Gloomius even took the last can rust hash!

Then he stuffed all the food back up the spout with glee  
"Now," grinned Gloomius, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And Gloomius grabbed the tree and he started to shove,  
When he heard a small sound, like the coo of a dove.  
He turned around fast and he was surprised to see  
A small girl, Zowie Polie who was no more than three

Gloomius had been caught by this tiny bot daughter  
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water  
She stared at Gloomius and said, "Klanky Klaus, why?  
Why you take out Jingle Jangle tree? Why?"

But you know, that Gloomius was so smart and so slick,  
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!  
"Why my sweet little one," the fake Klanky Klaus lied,  
"The star on this tree just won't light on one side,  
So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.  
I'll fix it up there, then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,  
And he got her drink and he sent her to bed.  
And when Zowie Polie went to bed with her cup,  
He went to the spout and stuff the tree up.

Then the last thing he took was the log for their fire!  
Then he went back up the spout himself, the old liar.  
On their walls, he left nothing but hooks and some wire  
And the one speck of food that he left in the house  
Was a crumb, which was even too small for a mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other bots' houses,  
Leaving crumbs much too small for the other bots' mouses.  
It was a quarter to dawn; all the bots still a-bed  
All of them still asnooze when he packed up his sled,  
Packed it up with their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings,  
The tags, and the tinsel, the trimmings and trappings.

Flying up higher and higher, to the side of a cliff  
Gloomius rode through the night to dump every gift.  
"Pooh-Pooh to those bots!" he was gloomily humming,  
"They'll find out now that Jingle Jangle's not coming.  
They're just waking up and I know just what they'll do!  
Their mouths will hang open a minute or two  
Then the bots will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," Gloomius grinned, "That I simply must hear."  
So he paused for a moment and put a hand to his ear.  
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow,  
It started in low, and then started to grow.

But this sound wasn't sad. This sound sounded merry!  
It couldn't be so, but it was merry… very!  
Gloomius stared down at Polieville, he popped his eyes.  
Then he shook. What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every bot down in Polieville, the tall and the small,  
Was singing without any presents at all!  
He hadn't stopped Jingle Jangle Day from coming. It came!  
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And Gloomius with his metal feet ice-cold in the snow  
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could this be so?  
It came without ribbons! It came without tags!  
It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

Then he puzzled and puzzled till the cogs in his head were sore.  
Then Gloomius thought of something he hadn't before.  
"Maybe Jingle Jangle," he thought, "Doesn't come from a store."  
"Maybe Jingle Jangle… perhaps… means a little bit more!"

And what happened then? Well, in Polieville they say  
That Gloomius's happy gear sped up three times that day!  
And the moment his chest didn't feel quite so tight,  
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light!

And he brought back the toys and the food for the feast  
And he, he himself… Gloomius Maximus carved the roast beast.


End file.
